Friday, October 30, 2009
After the war between my dad and the sickness, I could sense that he has really change a lot. He is not so close minded, unlike last time. My dad told us that he nearly died when he was admitted to ICU. That's really freaking me out. Thank God that He made things go right and saving my dad's life too.
Anyway, I just left two more papers to go which I only have less than 2 weeks to stay in penang. Woa, time really flies. Seven months pass just like that. I'm sure gonna miss the people there, especially the special ones and the someone. Sigh.
Alright. My next post will be about my life in penang i guess, so please await and i'll be back soon. Gotta go, people. Adios~
Monday, October 19, 2009
Seeing him in the hospital’s green clothing, lying on the bed, hardly to breathe, suffering from terrible headaches most of the time, sweating all over his body, his hands filled with needle holes and with his pale face, my heart aches. It really hurts.
My dad was not feeling well when I was back at home last week. Before I went back to Penang, I told him to consult the doctor if he still not feeling well and I even asked him, would it be dengue fever cause that was the thing that came into my mind based on his situations. But he said he did not think so.
I went back to Penang to sit for my paper and I got to know from my mum that my dad was not feeling well since last week, having fever and headaches. He went to hospital and checked and he was confirmed that he was having dengue fever. But the hospital did not allow him to get admitted to the hospital saying that my dad’s situation was not that serious yet. They made him to go back to the hospital every morning to have blood check. Until the day when I was on my way back home which was last Friday, I got a phone call from my sister saying that my dad had admitted to the hospital. Of course, I was kind of worried.
I thought dengue fever is not that serious but I was wrong when I saw my dad. He was still okay in the first two days, just having fever on and off and having terrible headaches and the doctors asked him to drink more water. But somehow, it got worse. I was so shocked to see him wearing the oxygen mask and saw some machines beside him when we went to visit him yesterday. The doctor told us that water got into his lungs and because of that, he has difficulties in breathing and that’s why he needs the oxygen mask to help him to breathe easier. My heart nearly stopped when I saw his situation and tears were in my eyes. He wrote on the bed telling me that his close friend who passed away last few years came to disturb him and that really scared me. I asked him not to say stupid things.
My auntie who is a nursing sister said that my dad is in a critical stage of dengue fever and asked us to pray more for him. She even asked her church people to pray for my dad. Thanks, auntie. More relatives came to visit him and told us this and that. I was wearing a smile on my face when they were talking to me but deep down in my heart, I ……
My dad has actually gone through quite a number of surgeries compared to a normal people. I still remember for the first time ever he dropped his tears in front of me when I was still in primary school when he had to undergo quite a high risk surgery that would made him could not walk for the rest of his life if the operation was not successful. Thank God the operation was successful. But for now, he is still suffering so much and I just got to know from my sister that my dad has changed to ICU after I went back to the island. My heart aches again. I do not understand why He wants to make him suffers that much.
I have to leave my dad to go back to the island to sit for my exams. I am sorry for not being there for you, dad. I could see my mum was taking good care of him but mum, you have to take care of yourself too, okay? I realized that I did not really go near my dad and do things for him not because I do not care for him but I am afraid that I could not take it when I see him suffering like that.
Daddy, I miss your voice, your jokes (even though it is lame sometimes), your laughters, your stories, etc. So please get well soon and be strong, alright? Home is so quiet and it means nothing without you. Oh Lord, please take away all the sickness from my dad and take good care of him, I beg You, please.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
There were so many things running in my mind one night. I was terribly distracted by the things in my mind. My mood was ruined by the thoughts. My eyes were getting heavier. Tears were in my eyes. My heart was as soft as a fine glass, it was almost cracked. I could feel that my whole body was getting weaker, I could not even stand strong on my feet. I felt like trembling down that moment and I was so afraid that I could not hold on anymore. I kept asking myself, what happened?
I bet some of you did experience before the situation above. Neither you nor I could tell the reason why. Did you ever wonder why did u feel like that? Well, maybe that is part of our emo life. As you can see, there are ups and downs in our life. Of course, everyone wants ups in their life more than downs. But sad to know that somewhere in this world, there are people whose life is full of downs. Did you actually know that you can choose whether to have ups or downs in your life? Yes, you can. Your life is in your hand and it is your choice whether to have a good life or not.
Sometimes, the little problem you were facing which you thought that was a big problem was actually a tiny mini problem if you think at a different perspective. Some people even choose to end their one and precious life because of the so called ‘big’ problems they are facing. I am not blaming them but hey, look at the world, there are so many people out there who are struggling to live but they just could not. How sad it is.
Every time when I flip through the newspapers, I could see many news about accidents and tragedies happening which has cause many people losing their life. They did not even have the chance to say goodbye to the world. I could not imagine how the victims’ families would feel especially when they were happily waiting for their loved ones to come back home but they could not make it and would not be able to go back home, forever. I hate to read all these news but sad to say there are news like that every single day and one person is losing their life every single second. Sometimes, I just do not understand, why God allow all these tragedies to happen, why is He making people losing their loved ones? I have no idea why but I am sure He has a good reason for it.
The point is, sometimes when you feel like breaking down, it is not the end of the world but instead, it is the beginning of a new chapter of your life. Whether you want it or not, you are going to learn something new from it. So, appreciate your life please, people. =)
Sorry for being emo anyway. Okay, I have to stop crapping here. Next week is my finals and I should not be blogging, like now. Haha.. I know it is exam period now, so good luck people in your whatever exams and may God bless you guys. I guess I will really be abandoning my blog until my finals end.
Good things always await you at the back.
So please do await for my return. =)