Saturday, February 27, 2010

Working Life

I said I wanted to quit my job, but I failed. Guess I was soft hearted. That is one thing I hate about myself sometimes. Anyway, I didn't fail completely. My boss tried to make me stay by asking me to help out on certain days in a week. That's a good thing too despites only study at home which will definitely bored me out.

This is my first time working by my own out there in the society which I have not experience before. I was looking for a temporary job and went for interview for the first time in my life. I did not expect my current boss to hire me cause she was looking for a permanent worker. But few days later I received a call from her telling me that I'm hired.

I was nervous and kind of exciting on the first day of work. There was no one I know there. The place and the people were stranger to me. I once felt like I was an alien to them. Most of the ladies working there are young mothers and some elder ones. Only a few one or two of them are like my age. I was the youngest there. The first few weeks was kind of hard to get through. Not really hard though, just that I was doing my stuff, they were doing theirs and I seldom talk to people there, minding nobody business but our own business. Slowly, after a month, I started to get close with all my colleagues and started to know who they are.

I really like and close with some of them, although we have age gaps. I thought everyone is nice to everyone there, I thought. There were so many matters going on there actually which I did not know. Yeah, gossips. It happens everywhere, school, colleges, workplace, etc. I happened to know later, when someone treats you good, it might not be a good thing because that's only on the surface, you never know what is really happening underneath the water. That is what happened at my workplace. The person might be very nice to you in this minute, but after she turns her back in the next second, she might be talking bad and complaining about you.

There were many kinds of people there. I did not know who to trust. Maybe I should trust no one but only myself because I do not like the feeling of being betrayed. No one likes it. Anyway, my colleagues do treat me nice (I do not want to think more than that) and so I treat them nice. I do not want to know what's actually going on my back, sometimes, it is better to know less than to know more. I am happy working there, just that some people or things pissed me off sometimes. Well, that is normal in the real society.

Let's talk about the valued customers there - the patients. For some of you that don't know, I am working in a clinic. Most of the patients there are old folks. Frankly speaking, some of them are seriously very unreasonable and stubborn. I was so so mad (only in the heart) when talking to them. Anyhow, they are always right. Grrrr.. Breathe in, breathe out. Huuuhaaaaaa. They really test my patience. Fooo. Some of them are really nice to us. Seeing them, I always bring a smile on my face. They made my day sometimes. I remembered there was a grandpa, he was so cute. I gave medicine to him with a smile on my face and guess what he said to me, "You are beautiful. How I wish I were a boy.", putting his sweet and cute smile on his face that will melt people's heart. Some of the patients only know how to complain, complain and complain. It was really wasting time, saliva and energy talking to them. Well, overall, it is still okay.

It is really a good experience working. I learned a lot of things which will guide me better in my life, I guess. Anyway, I could not wait to get back to my college life. Miss it.


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Mixed up feelings

The environment, the thought, the feeling of this moment, it's so familiar. It happened couple years ago but it came back again. The feeling is so mixed up that I could not describe it.

I remember the feeling. The feeling of the person that you loved had left you. The feeling of how much you miss the person that was not around you. The feeling of waiting for the person that you loved to come back. I don't have a clue why the feeling is back, but there is no one to be the person. I do hope the feeling is temporary, just temporary.

I realized that I have a new kind of phobia. I do hope to meet someone that will help me to overcome it in the future, but I know, it is not the time yet. I want to overcome it alone for now. Please don't hate me.

p/s : I know I've abandoned my blog for quite a long time. I'll be returning soon cause I've decided to quit my job end of this February. =)))