Monday, January 24, 2011

Finally.

The day that I hope it will arrive faster, but also hope that it will not come, has finally arrived.
The reason for hoping that it will not come - I do not want to face the cruel facts that will disappoint me, cause I have faced it a few times.
Reason for it to arrive faster - I am curious. I wanted to know how far did it bring me after putting so much effort, time and money in it.

And all I know, God never fails. :)
Before this, things did not go the way I expected it to be. And to be honest, I did lost faith in Him. I remembered how much I used to pray and ask Him to let me get through it, but things just got messed up.
I went on working, studying, taking exams, went back working again, on and off for a year.
Some of you might think, it was such a waste of time. Yea, it was, I did think that way before too. But looking back to what I have gone through during the time where I was no where, I think it was worth it. Walking on rocks is not easy, but I have really learned a lot, I mean a lot. The road makes me a tougher and wiser person.
And now, I have gone through the short stage where I did not want to stay for so long. I have finally moved to another stage of my life, a longer and tougher one. I know it is not gonna be easy but still, finally. And I will still go on no matter how.


Somehow, I know that God has actually planned everything for us. Failures and all means nothing but it is actually a challenge for us if you can see things from another perspective.
Just have faith and things will follow God's plan. :)

Monday, January 10, 2011

Mute

First post for the year of 2011. Hello twenty eleven.

Did you have a good start of 2011?
I bet some of you did, but some did not.
Whether you have a good start or a bad start, just live on and believe that,
the better is yet to come.

**********

I remember I met a man wearing an untidy shirt and short pants with flip flops, carrying his helmet and walked into the clinic. I was at the reception and he came to me. He put the medicine at the reception and pointed at it. I was quite pissed because he did not say anything to me. How could I know what he want? I asked him in an impolite tone, 'What do you want?'. Then only he opened his mouth and all I could heard was, 'Ah, ah ah ah'. I gulped.

I was shocked and kept quiet for a few seconds looking at him. My expression was blank. After that few seconds, I came back to myself with a friendly smile on my face and tried my best to communicate with him. But it seemed he barely could understand what I was trying to ask him, neither I understand what he was trying to tell me. We both used our own sign languages. Haha. I bet we looked funny that time. I was tired using sign language cause we still could not understand each other. Then, I thought of paper and pen! I handed him a blank paper and a pen.

I looked at him, expecting that I would know clearly what he wanted from writing. He held the pen and looked at the blank paper. He seemed like struggling on what to write, or maybe how to write. He looked at me who was full of hope. Then he looked back at the paper, the right hand where he held the pen started to move. He was writing letter by letter. I read the sentence he wrote, it was in malay. He is a chinese man just for your information. He did not write in a proper sentence. It was in broken malay and I could see only mistakes. But I roughly understand what he was trying to say and we communicated through writing. So I got to know that he came here to buy medicines for his friend.

At last, we were done. He bowed a little for a few times, thanked me for what I did. I did the same too. I waved goodbye to him with a wide smile on my face and also, tears in my eyes.
One of my colleague saw how we communicated and asked what was happening, and I told her the man could not talk. Tears almost roll down on my cheeks and before it actually happened, I turned away.



It might be nothing to some of you, but to me it really matters and I do not know in what sense.
I realized that how lucky most of us are. I learn to appreciate more after meeting that man.



xOXo